Do you want to help find Ben?

[Cath]

Official page:
http://www.helpfindben.co.uk/

Link to the Needham petition for Government aid is here:-
http://www.helpfindben.co.uk/petition.html

[Jayelles]

These are age progressed images of what Ben might look like now:-

[Winter]

Ben Needham on Twitter - Feel free to reweet

https://twitter.com/search?f=realtime&q ... m&src=typd

[Jayelles]

[Jayelles]

Ben's family call for more funding to help find Ben:-

http://www.hallamfm.co.uk/news/local/be ... stigation/

[scoobydoo]

If Ben was taken for illegal adoption he might recognise himself but remain silent to protect his adopted family who will be all he knows. Is there a way to give amnesty to whoever brought him up if Ben himself contacts police?

[Jayelles]

If Ben was taken for illegal adoption he might recognise himself but remain silent to protect his adopted family who will be all he knows. Is there a way to give amnesty to whoever brought him up if Ben himself contacts police?

Wasn't there a case like this a year or so ago? Or two cases? I am remembering the woman who realised she was a missing child and got in touch with her biological family but did not want any action taken against her "adoptive" family because she was close to some of them. But there was also a man who realised he was a missing child. I cannot recall what happened in his case.

There is the potential for so many complex scenarios. If any of you watched the series "Long Lost Family", you will know that no two adoption stories are the same. I know an adopted man who has no desire to meet his biological mother despite her requests to meet him. He adores his adoptive parents and says it's no even the case that he just doesn't want to hurt them, he is genuinely not interested in meeting his biological parents. He has now become a father himself so he might change his mind.

Of course, in the case of a missing child, there is the additional factor that any "adoption" which has taken place will have been illegal so a large degree of choice will be removed from the situation.

[Winter]

Philadelphia man finds self on missing children's website

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/04/26/us/pe ... g-mystery/

[Jayelles]

Philadelphia man finds self on missing children's website

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/04/26/us/pe ... g-mystery/

That's the one Winter. Amazing how accurate the age-progressed photo is. So many of them are!

[scoobydoo]

If Ben was taken for illegal adoption he might recognise himself but remain silent to protect his adopted family who will be all he knows. Is there a way to give amnesty to whoever brought him up if Ben himself contacts police?

Wasn't there a case like this a year or so ago? Or two cases? I am remembering the woman who realised she was a missing child and got in touch with her biological family but did not want any action taken against her "adoptive" family because she was close to some of them. But there was also a man who realised he was a missing child. I cannot recall what happened in his case.

There is the potential for so many complex scenarios. If any of you watched the series "Long Lost Family", you will know that no two adoption stories are the same. I know an adopted man who has no desire to meet his biological mother despite her requests to meet him. He adores his adoptive parents and says it's no even the case that he just doesn't want to hurt them, he is genuinely not interested in meeting his biological parents. He has now become a father himself so he might change his mind.

Of course, in the case of a missing child, there is the additional factor that any "adoption" which has taken place will have been illegal so a large degree of choice will be removed from the situation.

I do think refusing to meet your mother simply because you are not interested is cruel. Its one thing if you are protecting other loved ones, but if its down to a lack of interest its just callous. Why would you knowingly hurt someone who loves you just to save you doing something you are not that interested in doing. I know someone who years ago had a child adopted at birth, she had no choice as her parents arranged it all and she never even got to see the baby. To carry a child, have them taken from you either by force or circumstance and then finding them only to have them refuse to meet you must be incredibly painful.

But I know if I found out my parents had illegally adopted or even kidnapped me, I wouldn't come forward if I recognised myself if I thought they would go to prison.

[Jayelles]

If Ben was taken for illegal adoption he might recognise himself but remain silent to protect his adopted family who will be all he knows. Is there a way to give amnesty to whoever brought him up if Ben himself contacts police?

Wasn't there a case like this a year or so ago? Or two cases? I am remembering the woman who realised she was a missing child and got in touch with her biological family but did not want any action taken against her "adoptive" family because she was close to some of them. But there was also a man who realised he was a missing child. I cannot recall what happened in his case.

There is the potential for so many complex scenarios. If any of you watched the series "Long Lost Family", you will know that no two adoption stories are the same. I know an adopted man who has no desire to meet his biological mother despite her requests to meet him. He adores his adoptive parents and says it's no even the case that he just doesn't want to hurt them, he is genuinely not interested in meeting his biological parents. He has now become a father himself so he might change his mind.

Of course, in the case of a missing child, there is the additional factor that any "adoption" which has taken place will have been illegal so a large degree of choice will be removed from the situation.

I do think refusing to meet your mother simply because you are not interested is cruel. Its one thing if you are protecting other loved ones, but if its down to a lack of interest its just callous. Why would you knowingly hurt someone who loves you just to save you doing something you are not that interested in doing. I know someone who years ago had a child adopted at birth, she had no choice as her parents arranged it all and she never even got to see the baby. To carry a child, have them taken from you either by force or circumstance and then finding them only to have them refuse to meet you must be incredibly painful.

But I know if I found out my parents had illegally adopted or even kidnapped me, I wouldn't come forward if I recognised myself if I thought they would go to prison.

I wouldn't like to judge our friend on his reasons for not wanting to meet his birth mother because I think it's one of these situations that shouldn't be judged unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. He's a really nice bloke so I don't imagine that he would be deliberately cruel or spiteful. It may be that he feels a sense of loyalty to his adoptive parents to whom he is exceptionally close. He adores his mum and is really lovely with her. It is also possible that he has overcome feelings of rejection and doesn't want to re-open the wounds, but I suspect he is simply being pragmatic and doesn't want to risk irreversibly altering a loving family dynamic (his siblings are also adopted and they are all very close).

However, the fact that the mother DID try to get in touch is an indication that she probably didn't "reject" him and that perhaps she has gone through hell. As I say, he may change his mind through time.

The programme "long lost family" had many moving stories and some did have very happy outcomes. However, there was one which didn't - a woman who traced her son only to have him decide that he didn't want anything more to do with her after they had met a few times. I have to admit that I found their interactions quite uncomfortable as she seemed to be coming on quite "heavy" and had very quickly taken to bossing him around in a rather cringeworthy way. She said she realised things had moved too quickly too soon and that she hoped the situation could be salvaged.

I have to say that I felt quite sorry for the adoptive parents in some of the cases.

[catkins]

Philadelphia man finds self on missing children's website

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/04/26/us/pe ... g-mystery/

That's the one Winter. Amazing how accurate the age-progressed photo is. So many of them are!

Yes....let's hope he uses computers and that something tickles Bens brain, and he makes a connection....